On the stadium stampede:

We were stunned at 5.30pm.

Earlier, at 4pm, I was walking back home from work when my son and daughter hollered from the other side of the road. Di my daughter was in a Virat 18 T-Shirt, Dh son was waving the RCB flag. I gestured to them, ‘Where?’. They were going to the Chinnaswamy stadium, for it is near home. A friend was buying a Ticket as he had connect with the Association there. They were fully alive with excitement.

I had seen the frenzy on the road, an apprehension whiffed across my cranium, but didn’t have the heart to stop them. I said, just be careful, avoid the crowds. But I also knew they had fat chance avoiding crowd. Dh has been a steadfast RCB fan since the first IPL in 2006 or so. And Di more recently. They marched past excitedly.

At about 5.30, we saw first reports of stampede. 3 people dead. Phone not going through. No response to WA, no delivery of iMessage. Then my wife Ir sees some TV clip with a girl in RCB T-shirt being carried out. It was not Di, we were sure, but, are we sure? Why is this phone not getting through.

So, we rushed to the car with an intent of driving towards the stadium, without a clear plan. We reached our gate, hit the road, but couldn’t move past. The frenzy was here, 6km away – how will it be in the stadium? The time was ticking – Ir says it is now 11 dead. We were scanning twitter on the road. We were sure all is OK, but how can you be sure?

Then we got the iMessage at 6.20. Amma, we are ok, we are in the end of Queens Road. Phew!

It was sheer probability that they were in the some other gate while the stampede was Gate 7. The early birds were crushed, as they were near the walls, and the rest of the wave of humanity was just pressing them against it, like a weed meeting a sea wall in a tsunami. It was just a toss of a million faced die – some of them landed in Gate 7 early, and their lives were upturned.

These kids didn’t go to Gate 7 – because the friend had his office near the other gate – huh, just like that life tosses a line. The friend couldn’t get the ticket after all, so these kids stood on the road to see the parade (in a closed bus), and were hanging out. Blissfully unaware of the stampede, they were as usual thinking, ‘ah these over reacting parents, why so many missed calls?’.

We had gone near MG road in these 30-40 minutes. We turned to some small shack, went there and had egg-maggie. We called the kids to walk in there, but they had other ideas.

So, just like that these kids were OK, just by the toss of the million faced die. There were 11 others dead, 75 others scarred for life, because they were early birds. Because they had passion. Because they chose the right gate. Because…in life you can do all the right things and go utterly wrong.

Inside the stadium, the spotlights were on, the players were going around the stadium, brandishing the treasured cup, unaware of the blood strain it was remotely collecting.

So, was this win after 18 years worthwhile if took away 11 of the most ardent fans? How alive they were in excitement when they left home, and how abruptly does death snuff out the spark? Will the fans ever savour the victory? Are we better off if Punjab had just won the match? Are we better off living in the silent regret of the loss, with the city having 11 more children? Will we just get on with our business next year, forgetting the episode?

Would Punjab have won the match if they had one more ball? Did one ball cost 11 lives? Will one of those 11 lives have won the Nobel prize? Who will know the infinite possibilities of an imagined, Track 2 future.

Why didn’t they plan this parade on Sunday, and make crowd control plans? Did the RCB team ask for police permission? Did the police do an estimate of the crowd? Or did they just wink everything past, in blind eyed adulation? Did the politicians push it through for their benefit? Did the cricketers not want to wait? I hope we know. I hope people are held accountable.

To paraphrase Munger, tell me where I am likely to die, and I will avoid it like hell. In our nation it is the crowds.

The kids came back at 7.30, in some Namma Yatri auto, and they were surprised about our reaction and the grand welcome. My love, and deepest condolences to the families who lost their kids.

For us, the stadium and the stampede was very near home.