You know that I get these ‘low ebb’ bouts . Sometimes it gets me. 

Some days, walking is easier wished than done. 
Fears from the distant past, dread from the near, 
Worries from the near future and nightmares of the distant, 
Fueled by a catalyst cocktail of changing hormones.

With guilt from all, grief from loved ones,
I spin up a perfectly indescribable thought twister.
Sharing is easy if I can define my feeling, 
for most time I just have a dark plague muddling my mind.

Some times the warmth is forced. 
The smile manufactured in the social cortex.
The jokes are squeezed from vacuum of the soul. 
Every movement needs an instruction from the brain. 

That instruction needs an instruction 
from another part of the brain. 
Ah, your will power provides has to provide that instruction. 
I am forcing all that tizzy, yet am an automaton. 

Some places I am scattered. 
A nebulous ‘meaning’ comes to my mind, but the 
Words are not sharp, I mutter. 
I search for something, And then search my mind 

On what I were just searching. 
I open this, I close that, I react, 
I stay indecisive when my life needs an action. 
I want to break this eternal cycle of anxiety, and I determine to focus. 
Yet, soon the fog permeates my mind.
Some days, 
Some times, 
Some places are 
Bad. 

But deep inside, 
I know I have 
The spring, 
The fire, 
The movement, 
The still, 
The strength, 
The resolve, 
The clarity, 
The purpose, 
The family, 
The friends, 
That make the
Other days, 
Other times, 
Other places, 
Great. 

Therefore I am.